Thursday, October 16, 2008

"Crap" thriving to be "the" crap...

adios amigo ..!!"

Questions---Being pushed and you dont like it ...!!!feeling alone and you cant fight it ..!!!!down but you cant get up ...!!!knowing that there is something wrong but cant rectify it because you don't know what the fuck is wrong with you ..!!!lacking the drive to do what you want to do ..??

Answers----stop being pushed around even if you can sense that people expect some sort of commitment from you cause in the end nothing is going to hurt more than saying the words that you dont want to say .. play the fool and just dont lament it cause that wee bit of embarrassment is much more acceptable than a month or two of tragedy ......!!!!you are not alone there is always someone there all that you have to do is put your muscles of neck to some work and woosh..!!you at least have a have a dozen people watching your back ..!!!of course your parents are included in that.. so open up confide in them you might think that they wont understand what you are going through and in worst case they wont but still they would be more than willing to help you out ..!!Tis a time when your head will bob up the murky waters that you are in ..look at it in this way if youve hit the rock bottom then there is no other way but not to go down any more ..once the things get worst then they can only get better ...!! I don't know the answers to other questions maybe I didnt even get the earlier ones right but atleast I tried youve gotta gimme that ..!!I know i dont hit the bulls eye every time but i never claimed to do so ..!!! so the rest is still unanswered or maybe i am too lazy to type ..gawd ..I need to find a direction soon.... !! :)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Desperation and Quiet...

There is this sense of desperation deep widin... I wonder who or wha I m n wha I want to be.. Its this sense of uneasiness within that is driving me up the wall :( .. Know how it feels when u leave everythin behind n thn find urself all lost again? I think, I do!!

Every cell of mine is revolting - kinda stopping me from making that leap.. I for one know, once I make that leap - I will grow and won’t remain what I have been.. I feel constricted (Dat feelin in ur throat that never lets u complete ur thoughtt or ur sentence).. Evrytime I’ve been challengd in my life n I’ve lost myself - I’ve hit back....It has been like making a point, but over a period of time, you tend to forget to whom the point was being made and that is how I have grown... I stand at another crossroad this time - not knowing where I will land if I start... May be the fear of starting pulls me back - the safety of the known!! I haven’t run in a looooooooong

time, just lazed and ambled around… I don’t know if I am going to start running again. But if I do, the next time I stop, I hope I have grown to be a better persn... The thing about running, I’ve always run for ppl -Lots of promises to keep and lots of people to take care of.....I hope I remain worthy of what I have received all my life... !!