Saturday, June 23, 2012

Weathering the Storms

On this night I look outside and I sit and think about the past few years of my Life. Tonight I think about the lessons I've learned...think about all the faces and spirits I've come into contact with...all the emotions I've felt: love, happiness, sorrow, anger, guilt, pride, accomplishment..I'm thinking about the places I've been and I'm asking myself, What have I learned?

I've learned that there are some wonderful people in this world that somehow..someway...were sent my way. That I'm blessed to have a few people who come to love me in each turn in the cycle that is my Life and who stick with me through all of them. People who see me for who I am, see through my faults, my fears, my problems..straight through to ME.And with each I have our own unique friendship, relationship, and memories. As I grow, and learn, they become dearer and dearer to me. Without them, I'd be lost.

I've learned that I am much stronger than I thought I was.

I've learned that there is strength in letting go,strength in making hard decisions,strength in knowing when the time is over for something and, strength in not wanting to let go but stepping away because you know its what you need to do.When it's not right. No matter how much your heart begs you not to.

And, I've learned that no matter how much you love someone..there is a difference between loves. There is a difference between someone who cares, and someone who is meant to be with you. Someone who actually listens when I talk, listens to my fears, my sillinesses, my annoyances, my passions....listens when I talk about the things that matter the most to me. And even more important... someone who truly understands what I'm saying. That is the most precious thing.

I've found a few very wonderful friends who have come close. Friends that I hold onto dearly, whom I love unsparingly...who I've spent so many wonderful days, weeks, even years with. And as I keep walking down this Road that is my Life, I'll continue my quest for the Life I want... and if on this journey, during my search, If I find that person that is my other half, IN ALL WAYS,well... so be it.I will always hope so.. But I won't wait around for that person... or change for someone who is not that person... when the whole World awaits me.

So, on a closing note....I look forward to new times in life, a new leg, a new journey... a new Life. Scoff if you want... say I can't stay in one place.... and maybe you're right...Physically or metaphorically,I won't....I will always follow my heart.Because I believe, for me and for all of my loved ones, there is something better out there for ... if we're just willing to follow our hearts and never give up and never, ever... settle.

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